My friend, Tom Stimson, wanted to make a film entitled 'The Eggs Have Landed' he pulled the cast out of his friends, but the film never got together because of problems arranging time out of school, as half were boarders in this school, and the other, day pupils. I took his idea, and decided to write a story entitled 'The Eggs Have Landed'. He also likes writing, so is writing the follow-up to this book, about a deadly egg-v...oh sorry, can?t tell you all the details!

Have a nice read, and think again before you eat eggs for breakfast next.

Balls stared out of the small triangular window into the deep black void of space. He was in the exercise room of the Celebration, the shuttle on the mission to repair the Hubble telescope, for it had gone wrong again, as it always did, along with Jul. Challis was in the cockpit, filing his nails and also gazing out of the window.

In the distance, he saw a big white splodge approach. It was far too big to be a star. As it got closer, he saw it was egg-shaped. Closer. Four sticks coming out, and a menacing face. Closer. A huge egg-body!

"Er, Houston," said Challis into his radio. "We have a proble..."

The egg-ship was so big that it simply drove into the Celebration, turning it into an explosion.

Back at Houston, NASA officials were trying to figure out what this 5km-long blob on the radar was. And, why had the Celebration suddenly cut off the radio? No-one knew.

The egg-ship had splashed down into the Pacific Ocean. Inside was one mighty peeved Egg-Emperor, who was threatening to decimate a hundred eggs if they could not land in the Sahara Desert. So, the boosters on the soles of the sneakers being worn by the egg-ship fired and it moved over towards Africa.

When it landed in the desert, the mouth of the egg-ship opened, and a huge tongue rolled out and landed with a thump on the dry desert floor, raising a small cloud of fine sand at impact.

The Egg-Emperor stomped out on the squishy surface to meet the humans that were to give up their planet. A cheetah looked at the Egg-Emperor, tilting it's head to the side. A lone tree stood before him, the leaves dry and brown.

"What a planet," mumbled the Egg-Emperor, as he turned around and back into his ship. The tongue rolled in and smacked the Egg-Emperor, sending him flying inside. He turned, and swung his fist at it, but only hurt his fist. He ordered a guard to do it for him.

So, the Egg-Emperor was wrong, but couldn't let his reputation down, and so blamed it on the Navigator. A hundred eggs were decimated. The ship finally got the co-ordinates right to a big plain in the English countryside.

The English are not stupid. They saw the egg-ship coming, and sent out their troops to welcome, or attack, them. Unfortunately, the plain was a bit crowded with sheep, so they actually couldn't get in until a General realised that a few shots in the air sufficed to rid the plain of sheep. The entire southern British population stood behind the six rows of the Army, while the Queen sat on a podium at the back, along with all the rest of the Royal Family.

The same routine followed with the tongue coming out of the mouth of the ship. The Egg-Emperor stepped out. He brought a loud-speaker to his mouth (or what could have been his mouth) and said a few friendly words:

"Give us your country!"

The Queen heard this from her stand and got her own royal microphone and said:

"No!"

"Oh dear," muttered the Egg-Emperor. "They won't give us the country. Whatever shall we do?"

The general, who was not a stupid egg, whispered something into the ear of the Egg-Emperor. Immediately, the toe-caps of the egg-ship's sneakers opened up and twenty cannons were wheeled out, loaded with rotten eggs, and fired at the troops.

Not only did the rotten eggs stink, but they also hardened in seconds. The first line of human troops were stopped. But there was still more human troops, who got out their guns, and fired at the eggs. The cannons were very fragile and shattered like glass when hit. The egg-troops ran about in all possible directions, sometimes even using other eggs as shields. Someone even saw four eggs in a line, but in vain, for a bullet got them all. Yolk stained the floor.

The Egg-Emperor ordered the egg-ship to take-off and float above the clouds over England.

The next day, the Egg-Emperor was looking out of his port-hole (which was one of the eyes of the face) at his brave parachuting eggs as they floated down to land and take over chicken farms. The eggs fed the chickens a secret mixture obtained nearby, which turned the normal eggs into freak-eggs.

Billy, James, Lara and Marie were all sitting on the hard sofas at their boarding school.

"How boring," commented Lara. "Being stuck inside this crummy place while everyone else gets to see the eggs." Lara was 16, tall, thin and brunette. She had come to the school at the start of the year, and hated it, like everyone else did.

"Let us watch television," said Marie. She too was 16, but not as thin as her friend. She came from France on a term-correspondence trip. Her English was good for two months: "I like television," she added.

Billy went over to the set and pushed the button. He was 14, the youngest. He was James's brother, but they were three years apart in age. They were both blond, tall and intelligent. These qualities were inherited from their father. A news reader was on the screen, halfway through a report.

"...5 tons of 'Chilkley's Fresh Tomato Juice' was stolen this morning by a group of eggs, wearing balaclavas and armed with weapons. We have no idea of their intentions."

"Oh! How exciting!" exclaimed Billy. "I bet everyone's gonna be sad when..."

"Shh!" interrupted James. "There's something on the news about he invasion."

"Several hundred eggs parachuted from their ship and landed on farms in the Berkshire area. the owners were egg-ified, as Professor J. Norman calls it, that is, covered in rotten eggs. The chickens were then fed on a mixture, far too toxic to be from this planet."

"So?" asked Billy to James.

"Well, if you actually listened in class, you would realise that our school is in Berkshire."

"Oh."

"Yes oh. Big oh."

"I will smash them all," hissed Marie between her teeth. She was looking out of the window at the road, expecting hoards of eggs to appear, so she could smash them all with the imaginary club that she was swinging.

"Hey, hey," said Lara. "We're in a well-protected school. I doubt they'll get in."

"I do love your optimism Lara," replied James, sarcastically. "They'll get us in the end."

"You mean we'll be egg-ified?" asked Billy, with fear in his voice and eyes.

"Unless we escape, yes..."

"Nooo!" shouted Billy. He jumped behind the sofa he was occupying.

"Don't scare him, J, he's only a baby," said Lara.

"Shut your face!" came the reply form baby-boy. He started to storm out of the room.

"Don't go there," called Marie after him. "There is eggs."

"See if I care."

Just as he stepped out of the door, he came face-to-face with an egg.

Billy let out a yelp, surprisingly loud for his size as the egg stepped on his socked foot.

"You prat!" he shouted at the egg. "Don't you have any manners?"

The egg was confused. Here he was, on orders to take over a country, and there was this little boy, shouting at him. Should he let this happen? What would the Egg-Emperor do...

His thoughts were cut off.

"Move!" screamed Marie.

"Uh?" grunted Billy. He turned around to see a chair fly at his face, but he ducked just in time. The egg wasn't so lucky. It received the chair and it's shell cracked, spraying yolk all over the floor.

"Go!" shouted Marie, pulling the other two from their chairs, and dragging them out of the room.

As they were running quickly in and out of doors to get outside, James held a thought in his head:

'That's French war-tactics for you.'

All at once, whole hoards of eggs started appearing from farms around the country, and the people were made to hide in their houses, board up windows and lock doors, opening them to no-one. Shops closed, and all money became useless. People trying to flee from the country were taken by eggs into the egg-ship to be dissected, so the eggs could learn about their enemies. Houses were egg-ified, causing the occupants to suffer from famine. All Britons were afraid of these insane eggs from...who knows?

Billy cracked shell after shell with his frying pan. Alongside him was Marie, swinging a cricket bat at anything white and egg-shaped. Lara and James were a way off, operating along similar lines.

They were in the in the grounds of the 'Gardens of Joy' defending from the eggs. The eggs had developed a way to attack humans, according to their studies. A group of eggs would circle a group of people, and then some unluckily nominated eggs were thrown on the humans, which were then egg-ified by the eggs' interior.

It was two days since they escaped from their school. They had run here hoping to find safety. They found a shed and hid until Marie burst out, found a weapon and went hunting for eggs. The others searched for her and found her tied to a tree with yolk. Her anger rose, and she created the Egg-sterminators. It was only her, Billy, Lara and James, but their combined power was enough to get a few eggs.

Many weapons had been tested, the best proving the frying-pan, as it just got a hole so big, the poor little (well, actually they were 6ft tall) guy hadn't a chance. Second place was awarded to the cricket bat. It, when swung the right way, would literally slice the egg in half, and finish it off. unfortunately, all the shops had been closed, but after searching, they found a frying pan and two cricket bats. The javelin wasn't bad, as it poked a hole which leaked. Otherwise, anything big, heavy and swingable was good.

The Egg-Emperor sat on his throne on the egg-ship, worried. Could he win? Would he win? His best general sat next to him.

They were deeply involved in a game of Ludo. The Egg-Emperor was losing, with only two of his counters out, while the general had all four out, two of those a few spaces away from the goal and one reached the goal. It was the fifth game in the past hour, and the general was winning three games to one.

The Egg-Emperor stood up, swiped the board away, which landed at the foot of a guard (he was not surprised. Guard eggs are rarely surprised) with a crash, and walked away and out of the door. The general stood up, looked at the guards, who were smiling slightly, as this general had annoyed the Egg-Emperor, and also walked out.

The Egg-sterminators had gathered a few more warriors: Tina, Kel and Hox. They were triplets, all 15, but still very enthusiastic. They met after an Egg-sterminator raid, where Marie had just beaten her personal best of 55 by 6. The triplets were hiding under an up-turned boat from the eggs. They all wanted to join, but had to prove their efficiency first. This was three tests: reflex, speed and, of course, egg-smashing. They were talking about their day's efforts:

"So, how did you do, then, J?" asked Hox. He was the only boy in the triplets. He, like his sisters, had red hair and freckles. They were all middle height and size.

"I was terrible. I only got 20," replied James.

"Ha, ha!" joked Marie. "I had 45."

"Got, Marie, got: I got 45," corrected Lara.

"I got 45," said Marie.

"Good," replied Lara, slumping back into her garden chair.

"How about you, Tina?" asked Hox. "And Kel?"

"We totalled up to 53," said Kel. Her real name was Katherine, but everyone called her Kel.

"Who got most?" asked Marie.

"Tina," said Kel, pointing to her sister.

"How long do you think it'll be?" asked Billy, to no-one in particular. "I mean until the eggs go away."

Everyone was silent, because no-one knew what to answer him by.

"Dunno," said Lara.

"Neither do I," added Kel.

"Nor me."

"Not me."

"Nor me."

"I do!" - that from Marie. "When we kill them all!"

"Don't dream," explained James. "They keep getting more eggs from the farms."

"Put the radio on," said Billy. "We'll see if anyone has beaten them yet."

Marie, who was closest, stretched out her hand and switched it on.

"On," she declared.

"Now for the regional news:"

"What good timing!" commented Tina.

"I'm Filly Hunst. This is Radio West's news service.

"When inspectors searched the farms taken over by eggs in the area, they found traces of red juice on the chickens' beaks, we are still trying to analyse the substance.

"The eggs are still trying to conquer us. We have the Armed Forces working day and night to attack them. We all wish them good luck..."

The door swung open to reveal an egg, and it's friends. Our Egg-sterminators were not afraid; they had come over hundreds of these things head-on before. But the egg in front raised a egg-gun. The Egg-sterminators froze, and all dropped to the floor.

The egg in front called his friends:

"Take them outside for the process."

The Egg-Emperor ignored the calls from his general outside the door.

The general isn't always the first egg to cry, but now he should. I'll teach him to beat me at my favourite game thought the Egg-Emperor.

"Please sir," called the general. "I won't do it again...I...I promise!"

The Egg-Emperor thought about this: Winning every game is quite good. No! Don't fall into his trap!

The Egg-Emperor was nearly going to go out side and agree to this contract.

He opened the door, called for some guards, and got the general taken to the bay.

"Goodbye general," said the Egg-Emperor, as he pulled the lever to open the hatch underneath their feet. They both fell. The general screamed.

"Do you want to die with me?" he said, confused.

"No," replied the Egg-Emperor, as he lit up his booster soles on his shoes, and rocketed up, back into the bay.

A good deed a day, thought the Egg-Emperor, as he walked back to his room. Is what's best.

When all the eggs were in, the Egg-sterminators sprung into action, took out he legs of the eggs and knocked them out.

"Works every time!" exclaimed James. "Take them outside, we don?t want to get our shed dirty."

"What do we kill them with?" asked Hox.

"Javelin!" said Marie, because the javelin was her favourite.

The eggs were all lined up, and the first poked, then the second, then the third, and so on. You could see the terror in their eyes as their turn got closer, and closer, and came.

"That'll warn off other eggs," said Lara, before they all went inside.

"We need to find a way to get all the eggs, once and for all," said Kel, once they were all back inside.

"But how?" asked Tina. She looked at James, as if she was expecting an answer.

"Whoa! Don't expect me to solve everything. I know I'm the leader and all that..."

"You're not even that," commented Lara.

"Kill them, kill them, KILL THEM!" shouted Marie, at the top of her voice, as if to scare eggs everywhere. "Kill all the Eggs!"

"Marie, calm down," called Billy from the back of the shed, where he was using old bike parts to make a long weapon with a wheel on the end.

"When I see egg," retorted Marie. "I see hate. I want to kill it in the worst way."

"We need to get them from the inside," said Hox.

"We could just go into the egg-ship, and kill the Egg-Emperor," suggested Tina.

"Hey, that isn't actually such a bad idea," replied James. "I'll take it. Anyone else?"

They all raised their hands.

"Okay, from inside it is, then."

"I say we wait in our suits until it lands, then get in," replied James.

"Wait for hours in that?" said Billy. "I'm not doing that."

"Got any better ideas?" asked Lara.

"No."

"Good," finished Lara.

The Egg-sterminators were in the shed, deciding on how to get in the egg-ship unseen. They had got seven eggs and emptied them of their yolk and white, cut out arm, leg and eye-holes and gotten used to them, which wasn't easy. They wanted to get inside the egg-ship and blow it up, but how?

The Egg-Emperor was pleased that he got rid of the general, because that egg really got on his nerves. He was in his pacing room. A room where he could walk and think. His attack was falling apart. His egg-ship was falling apart. Half of his troops were gone, defeated. And the humans had taken all the tomato juice in England.

He wanted to play a game but the general was gone. As well, he had heard that the humans were trying to make a gun that transformed eggs into omelettes. Oh dear.

The Egg-Emperor's main worry was his left foot booster. It only worked one time on three. This cut down his public appearance (as if the humans liked him) by three. He couldn't get anymore troops apart from his ship troops.

Two days later, the Egg-sterminators stood in a group of eggs in their disguises.

"Do I have to wear this?" complained Billy.

"Yes, now shush," whispered James. "Even the trees and eggs have ears..."

"Very funny," replied Hox.

The egg-ship gracefully (but limping) sailed to the ground before them. The huge tongue rolled out. The Egg-Emperor appeared.

"Eggs!" he said. "Our conquest of England is near to complete."

"What the...?" asked Billy

"All we need to do is get the humans out."

"Why's he lying?" asked Billy, as he nudged Tina.

"It's called propaganda," she replied. "I'll explain later."

"Uh-oh," muttered James.

"What?" asked Lara, who was at his side.

James pointed upwards, at an RAF plane. "It's going to bomb the egg-ship."

"Good," said Marie.

"We're going to be blown up too."

"Bad."

"Let's get out of here," he said.

"No, we've got to do it, It's probably our only chance in a week. Who knows what could happen from now to Friday next?" complained Lara.

"But we could get killed..."

"So? All the eggs and their ship will be blown up too. Humans will win."

"I guess you're right. We'll risk it," he decided.

But the Egg-Emperor had seen the bomber too. He tried not to draw any attention to it. He was trying to get his ship out. Main defences were down when he was on ground.

You are very tired," he said. "Come and rest while fresh troops take your place."

Suddenly, the plane above dropped a bomb. It was a scramble to get in. Eggs were petrifryed. Luckily, all of our friend got inside, but many eggs didn't.

The egg-ship rose as the bomb exploded. It was a pretty sight; hundreds of eggs exploding.

"Wow!" exclaimed Billy. "That was close."

"So now?" asked Kel.

"We go into stealth mode, and assassinate the Egg-Emperor," replied James.

"He isn't famous..." started Hox.

"Oi!" shouted a guard egg. "What's all this about the Egg-Emperor?"

James thought for a second.

"We're going to kill him."

"What?" whispered Lara. "You gotta be crazy!"

"Well, actually, I thought of that myself once. You know, he killed the general," the guard egg looked up.

Marie found a spanner under her hand. She picked it up, handled it, and threw it at the guard egg.

I pierced a hole in the shell. A gush of egg-white came out of the hole. The guard egg clapped a hand on the hole.

"I'm gonna die!" he wailed.

"So?" asked Marie.

"Good shot, Marie," complimented Tina. Marie smiled.

They left him.

"Why do they hate me?" asked the Egg-Emperor to his guards.

"Well, Sir, do you want he list? You have killed many of their people, wanted to take over their planet, stolen tomato juice, killed chickens, it could go on and on," replied the bravest guard.

"Shut up!" snapped back the Egg-Emperor.

He started walking around the room, as he usually did. He was startled to see seven eggs appear at his door.

"What do you want?" he asked, rudely.

"You," said James, as he pulled out the spanner and poked a hole in a guard.

"Hey!" exclaimed the guard. "That hurt."

"Good," replied Hox, and his punch made another hole. The egg fell limp on the floor.

"Drained," announced James. "You next, Egg-Emperor."

"No. You can't. I'm the Egg-Emperor, leader of the eggs."

"And I'm the James," replied James, shelling his shell, he motioned to the others to do the same. They did. "The leader of the Egg-sterminators," he finished.

Behind him, Lara sighed and rolled her eyes upwards. She hated it when people thought they had too much power.

Meanwhile, a cowardly guard was trying to escape. Marie's aim was good.

The Egg-Emperor backed away from James. He fumbled with a hand to the underneath of his desk, where he pressed a red button. A big alarm sounded.

Soon, more eggs were rushing in, hundreds. Even Marie was finding it a challenge warding them off, with only pieces of easily-breakable wood. The eggs' tactics were different here, because they formed a circle, but then just all ran inwards at an Egg-sterminator.

The battle raged on, with the Egg-Emperor cowering under his desk. The Egg-sterminators were not too worried about him; they could get him later.

At last, the final egg leaked to death, and the tired group made their way to the Egg-Emperor's hidey-hole.

"Now, Sire, I will take great pleasure in cracking your shell, but we'll leave that 'til later. Now it's time to set the egg-timer," said Billy.

James pulled out a small explosive charge he had made in the school science lab when no eggs were around. He placed it on the main computer behind him.

They got the Egg-Emperor to lead them to the bay doors, where they all put on parachutes and jumped out.

The Egg-Emperor dropped like a stone onto the ground, hundreds of feet below him, and made a satisfying splat on the ground, which would soon become a war trophy.

As they floated down, the Egg-sterminators cheered when they saw the egg-ship blow into a lot of pieces above them. The yellow and crimson explosion lit up the dusk sky. James took the chance the shake hands with everyone.

"Victoire!" shouted Marie.

The war was over.

It was two weeks after the victory over the eggs.

The Egg-sterminators were at Buckingham Palace, enjoying their meal with their parents, the Prime Minister and the Queen of England.

James and Billy's Father was speaking to the Prime Minister.

"I really am pleased that you got rid of those horrible creatures," said the Queen. " And so I have decide to give you all a medal for your heroic efforts! Three cheers for the Exterminators!"

The triplets' mother nudged the Queen, and whispered something into her ear.

"Oh! Sorry! Fancy getting that wrong, eh? Three cheers for the Egg-sterminators!"

Meanwhile, back on the egg planet, light-years away, the Egg-Lord had just heard of the defeat of his warriors. He had thought Earth the easiest to take over; he was obviously wrong, but he had another plan.